August 30, 2009

LOLITAS: get over your selves!

http://lolita-charm.blogspot.com/2009/08/endangered-species-lolita.htmI'm sorry but I found this post despite what ever the poster's intentions totally self rightous, melodramatic and overall, annoying.

(this can be shortened as tl;dr)

IN MY OPINION lolita has grown so much from when I first joined the community in 05. There has been an influx of new people for better and for worse- sweet has replaced gothic as the popular style- cosplayers on /cgl/ are getting annoyed because of the influx of lolitas- more and more brands have started shipping overseas (haha yes, those of you who also remember when metamorphose was the only one who did international shipping, cheers)- yes, I am an old fag, hear me roar.
However I've noticed something else growing alongside the lolita community. A reputation. Not even a real one I might add, but girls warning n00bs, 'Be careful otherwise you might be posted on that community!' 'I really think that's a good idea but I wouldn't say that online!' Bull. Shit.
Most of these accusations are completely baseless and come from others who don't know what they're talking about. People who haven't lurked lolita fucks, gtfo egl or lolita wank (when it was still in commission). They haven't seen these sub comunities band together and actually do good- reporting scammers, calling out girls who are actively threatening others and so forth. I'm not trying to say all of the snark comms are vigilante based, only looking to do good for egl, but I've seen countless people called out on vendetta posts, mocking people for being 'ugly' or 'fat', being tasteless or racist.
However if you would listen to some girls on egl you would think we have a designated day where we pick a random girl from daily lolita and then photoshop swatstikas onto her forehead. It has even gotten to the point where I have seen newspaper articles on lolita- barely after the style definition it mentions how hateful the main community is, how girls are afraid to post without getting attacked!
You've been talking about how bad of a reputation lolita has girls, I hope you're happy now that we've got one. Saying things like 'I had the opportunity to meet some very new lolitas. They were so full of fresh ideas, things never done before. I tried to be encouraging, but I knew that if they were ever to voice these ideas, they would be shot down.' is pretentious. MAking EGL sound like the big bad but she is kind and openminded enough to see their merit. Making stupid assumptions that their ideas will be shot down automaticaly.
It's rediculous that I'm supposed to feel a kinship with all other lolitas- it's the same as any other intrest, lolita is not special. There are people I love who dress lolita, and there are lolitas who I know in real life and greatly dislike. Some of my best friends are not lolitas, and some of my best friends are lolitas. I am fully capable of realizing the exact same emotion in another's eyes having felt it myself and still hold a deep dislike for them. Just because I empathise does not mean I sympathise. Although I'm decrying the claim that we're supposed to get along based on a shared intrest for frilly clothing, EGL, is a wonderful thing.
I've made some of my best friends and countless other cool people through it. I feel like I'm instantly welcomed into a community if I just go and post a meetup saying I'll be in town a couple days and see if anyone wants to get together.
The athmosphere at the baby opening? That girl was being idealistic, there were people snarking as usual, she just wasn't part of the right community so she heard none of it- that being said we're not going to pounce and rip eachother apart based on some silly e-vendetta.
While I'm not saying things posted on the internet have zero merit, real life is a diffrent matter entirely, we all realize how immature it is to start loudly making fun of someone's outfit.
Although we have so many 'how to be lolita' guides, in my experience is we don't give a 'flying fuck' about them as long as the outfit is good. People just need to loosen up and not worry how they're wearing their wristcuffs (LOLOLOL), just take in the overall outfit and keep an ear open to critique.
I'm not going to call the girls who have retreated from egl pussies, they are making the right choice for them selves. As much as I wish everyone would get a bit more of a thicker skin and find the strength to communicate, I know it's not going to happen. These people are at least making the right choice, knowing that they aren't comfortable being in the communities and are likely to get their feelings hurt to withdraw. The stupid ones keep posting on egl pushing their opinions on the unwilling, getting posted to gtfoegl, crying about it, and then making a flounce forgotten in a week.


"If you are in favor of something bigger than yourself, if you are in favor of creativity and growth; if you are in favor of girls who gain confidence instead of losing it; if you are in favor of beating the stereotypes of catty females who chip away at their own movement; if you are in favor of a sense of belonging. If you are in favor of lolita fashion and subculture: stop this before it is too late."

I am in favour of myself, what I find asthetically pleasing, the people I care about. I am in favour of my creativity and artistic growth. I am in favour of girls taking critisism to heart and not crying about it like little bitches. I am in favour of girls being strong and comfortable in their personalities or striving to change it, whether or not they are 'catty females' or whatever else. I am in favour of being strong enough to be comfortable in a group but not letting it define you, being able to stand proud alone or with your friends. 

I am in favour of lolita fashion, and how dare you say I am not.

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